Choosing a restaurant with a group: how to quickly find a place everyone is happy with

Dining out together is one of the best things there is. Choosing where to go out to eat together is often much less fun. Before you know it, there are sixty messages in the group chat, no one has made a decision, and your favorite restaurant is fully booked on Saturday.

The good news: with a few fixed steps, you can choose a restaurant with a group just as quickly as on your own. Here is how to do it.

Why choosing with a group is so difficult

In a group, no one wants to be the party pooper. So everyone says "I don't care," while one person actually doesn't eat fish, another is watching their budget, and a third prefers not to sit in a busy restaurant. Those wishes only come up once a proposal is already on the table, and then it starts all over again.

Furthermore, the person who responds first often determines the direction. The quiet eaters with a distinct taste don't get a chance. The result: a choice that no one is really enthusiastic about.

1. Establish the conditions first

Don't start with the question where, but with when, how many, and in which neighborhood. These are facts, not taste, and they are quickly decided.

• Date and time: which evening, and around what time?

• Number of people: for larger groups, some restaurants are already ruled out.

• City or neighborhood: where is it easy for everyone to get to?

With those three things in order, you prevent falling in love with a place that is closed that evening or doesn't have a table for eight.

2. Let everyone give their preferences separately

The biggest gain is here. Don't ask the group "what are you in the mood for?", but let everyone answer a few questions for themselves. Without the others watching, people dare to be more honest.

Four questions are enough:

1. What atmosphere? Quiet, lively, casual, or something special.

2. What is the budget? An indication per person prevents awkward moments when the bill arrives.

3. What are you in the mood for? Italian, Asian, small dishes to share, vegetarian.

4. And afterwards? Another cocktail, a dessert, or staying for a long time.

An empty choice is also a choice: "doesn't matter" means the rest can decide.

3. Look for overlap instead of a winner

Voting sounds fair, but in a vote, a part of the group always loses. It's better to look at where the preferences overlap. Does one person want pasta and the other sushi? Then a restaurant with small dishes to share might be exactly the middle ground.

If it doesn't work out on one point, be open about it. "In terms of budget, we were far apart, so we chose something in the middle" feels better for everyone than a choice where no one knows where it came from.

4. Limit the choice to three to five options

Twenty suggestions don't lead to a decision. Make a short list of three to five restaurants that fit the group and choose a favorite from them. Keep a second choice in reserve in case the first one is full.

5. Designate one person to make the reservation

Sounds obvious, but this is where it often goes wrong: everyone thinks someone else is calling. Agree on who is making the reservation, and do it immediately. Especially for Friday and Saturday evenings and for larger groups, it pays to be a few days ahead.

Useful to mention when booking:

• the exact number of people, even if children are coming along;

• allergies or dietary requirements;

• if there is something to celebrate.

6. Put everything in one place

After booking, everyone wants to know where and at what time. Put it in a shared plan instead of letting it disappear somewhere between the messages. Then no one can say they didn't have the address.

Choosing together in HelloWhere

We created Choosing together for exactly this. You create one link and send it to your group. Everyone indicates privately what they are in the mood for, even without an account. No one sees what someone else chose; you only see which three to five places fit the whole group, and on which points you have sought the middle ground.

You can turn the favorite into a plan with one click, and where possible, you can book immediately via HelloWhere. This way you'll be at the table faster, and you only have to discuss who orders dessert last.